My Summer of Being Present

family redefining after 50 self-care Jun 17, 2022
Being present after 50

It's been an eventful spring.  

We purchased what we thought was a fixer upper at the beach in North Carolina.   That "fixer upper" turned out to be a whole rebuild of a house, which was not in our plan.

And two of our grandchildren were diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

I'd been thinking about leaving my job as a behavior analyst for a few years now.   But, the events of this past spring, preceded by the pandemic not allowing me to be with family for two years, made me go for it.   My 60th birthday may have played a part, as well.

I am now officially fading out of my role with the company.    And, although it's what I want, it's tougher than I expected emotionally.    This has been a major part of my identity for the past 25 years or so!

Life Balance After 50

I started this blog more than two years ago, after coming off a similar series of stressful events that led me to start thinking about what I wanted to do for ME on the Right Side of 50.  

I knew that my days as a behavior analyst were nearing the end.   And, I knew that my family would always be my first priority.   But, they do not need me 24/7 as they did when I was raising my boys.   

After thinking and reflecting, I decided I was going to follow my life long dream of writing.  More specifically, I was going to create content for women just like me.    Women over 50 who were trying to figure out how they wanted to spend and live their second half of life.

The Beginning 

As I started the blog, there was so much to learn.   I figured out how to set up my website and posted my first blog post.   I signed up for an online course and joined several blogging and writing communities.

I bounced out of bed each morning, looking forward to the day.   The writing.   The learning.   In addition to my career and family.

I started creating workbooks and eventually created my program.

Today

I've been doing a lot of reflecting - the events of this spring on the heels of the pandemic did something to me - something that is hard for me to put into words.   Especially the diagnosis of my two grandchildren.   This diagnosis made me upset, worried, and grateful all at the same time.

It also made me take a look at how I approach everything.

And at the effect my anxiety has on every single thing I do.  

It robs me of the ability to be present in the moment and fully experience the joy in what I'm doing.  I could be swimming with my giggling grandchildren and be worrying about time, dogs, others in the family, my husband flying, why my toe hurts, the list goes on and on.   

In my whole life, I cannot think of a time or a joyful occasion where I was fully present.

And, while I am not too old for anything I really want to do, one thing I AM too old for is to continue to rob myself of the joy in these moments.

This Summer Is Going to be Different

I recently did my quarterly launch for my program.   Typically, I get super excited about it.  I love my program and am proud of it!   

But, something was different this time.

I sent out the first email about the program.    And that was the only one I sent. 

It just wasn't feeling right this summer.  I realized that need to work on being present. Before I add something else to the mix for me to think about.

I need to revel in the moments like the one I'm having in this picture with this crazy crew of mine.

What Does Being Present Look Like?

It requires constant self-awareness.  Reminding myself each time I start worrying about something that hasn't occurred yet, to pull myself back into where I am.

It requires me to put my phone away more often.   The phone is full of distractions that pull me away from the activity or the people I'm with.

It involves things like:

  • Taking an hour or two AND a book in the middle of the day and sitting by the pool without worrying about what else I should be doing OR what time it is;
  • Sitting with my parents enjoying a glass of wine for the month that they're here WITHOUT worrying about time or dinner;
  • BEING in the moment.    Feeling the grass under my feet, smelling the rain, snuggling my grandchildren, sitting outside and laughing with my husband;
  • Taking as many moments as I possibly can each day to think about and marvel at all of the things that I have to be grateful for;
  •  Being present in this community and in my content creation.

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”  ~ Eddie Cantor.

Who's with me?   

 

 

 

 

Free Mini Workbook to Get You Started on Your Redefinition After 50